Bass For Your Face’s Abyss Review

Really the only review of the recent LT11 film Abyss you need to read1:

This movie had everything you would expect from a Colorado bouldering video: gratuitous tick marks, drastic lowballs, easy looking v13′s, and Chris Schulte climbing compression problems. And it had NOTHING in common with the original Abyss.  No submarines, no aliens, no Marinara Trench, and no crazy mustached dude suffering from the bends. VERY disappointing.

  1. Just don’t read it if you’re offended by the occasional piece of naughty language

Posted In: Asides, Media
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22 Responses to Bass For Your Face’s Abyss Review

  1. mike September 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Well I’m glad to see that Bass for your Face is keeping up their image as “those really annoying guys from New York.”

    Here’s a tip annoying New York guys, go pay Andrew Bisharat to give you a lesson in writing.

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  2. Andrew Bisharat September 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm #

    Dammit … and here I was thinking all along that I was one of those annoying guys from New York …

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    • mike September 21, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

      haha touché to that. I guess my “annoying guy from New York” radar is broken then.

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  3. Guidoprincess September 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    I kept waiting for a thoughtful interlude by Jon Glassberg that went something like this, spoken with a metrosexual lisp:

    “being a boulderer in colorado, its like, the hardest thing is like, deciding, which tanktop you wear to which bouldering area. Like, stripes or solids, bro??

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    • Aaron S September 21, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

      I had a friend who wore the tanktops about 5 years ago and we all made fun of him . . . never woulda thought they would go hipster-mainstream. I hear the new rage is getting Organic pads to match.

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      • derek September 22, 2012 at 7:35 am #

        such a good idea!

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  4. BK September 21, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    ‘Dude in the Adidas outfit’…that’s brutal!

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  5. joeyjoejoe September 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

    I’m from NY and boulder in the Gunks fairly often, yet I’ve never understood these guys’ super ridiculous, sarcastic, snide attitudes. I’m sure they’re lovely people in real life, but the shit they post online makes them look like obnoxious assholes.

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    • Scott September 22, 2012 at 8:00 am #

      So here’s the thing. I understand what they are trying to get across, that they are pointing out the entitlement and overly serious attitude many climbers have. Point taken. But they do it in such a way that sends the message “you are entitled and take climbing too seriously, we do not, and we are better than you because of it.” Which is exactly the message they are trying to make fun of. They basically end up shooting themselves in the foot every time they make a post like this.

      I think the above poster mentioned Andrew Bisharat because he does something similar, although in an entirely different way. Andrew’s articles do bring up challenging questions, whats going on in our community, peoples crappy attitude. But he does so in a way that is well formulated and does not come off as sarcastic. He shapes it as a way to have a conversation on these topics, instead of just some sarcastic post that comes off as passive aggressive.

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      • Narc September 25, 2012 at 8:20 am #

        AB isn’t sarcastic in his writing?? Posts like this are well formulated??

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  6. GDavis September 22, 2012 at 11:55 pm #

    I thought it was hilarious. Too much insecurity amongst rock climbers.

    PS – thought abyss was cool, too.

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  7. colin September 23, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    Thanks, Narc. Funny!

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  8. Dylin September 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

    I enjoyed Lt11s abyss throughly and James Camerons. Found this review quite funny. Cheers to all.

    -Dylin

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  9. Basshead September 25, 2012 at 8:16 am #

    LOLcopter!

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  10. crimpy September 25, 2012 at 8:44 am #

    all those problems are v4+.

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  11. CC September 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    I think the solution to this problem is to not waste your time reading Bass for Your Face.

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  12. grapedungeon September 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm #

    mmm… “Marinara Trench [sic]” sounds like the best pizza ever

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  13. CC September 25, 2012 at 8:38 pm #

    Or perhaps the only cool response to the pretentious CO climbing scene is for Bass for Your Face to act as arrogant as possible? I forget.

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  14. Slopers September 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    Pshh all this drama about CO vs NY. Here in the south where the best boulders roam, we’ll downgrade your project, on sunday, while drinking sweat tea. And not even have to publicize it =)

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    • Perdedor September 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

      I wouldn’t drink sweat tea on a bet, but I’m not a badass southerner. Sweet tea on the other hand, is delicious!

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  15. QM September 27, 2012 at 7:25 am #

    Climber insecurity abounds. The review was hilarious.

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  16. kinz September 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

    double lolz

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